Learning lesson 14 of 20
Supporting a loved one
Listen without diagnosing, offer practical support, and connect someone with crisis help when safety is at risk.
Sources reviewed October 21, 2026
What you'll learn
- Offer a specific next step while respecting choice.
- Ask directly about suicide when concerned and involve appropriate support.
Begin with observation
Choose a private, calm moment and describe what you noticed without assigning a diagnosis: โYou have missed several meals and seem exhausted; how are things?โ Listen without arguing that life is good or comparing their situation with someone elseโs. Ask whether they want listening, practical help, or support finding care.
Offer a concrete next step
You can offer to find a phone number, help arrange transport, or accompany them if invited. Respect their choices when safety allows, and avoid taking control of appointments or medicines. For example, ask โWould you like me to sit beside you while you call?โ rather than promising to solve everything.
Ask directly about safety
If you are worried about suicide, ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide. Asking does not plant the idea. Listen seriously, do not promise secrecy, and connect with crisis support. If immediate physical danger is present, call emergency services. Do not put yourself at risk or try to physically manage a weapon or violent situation. If someone says they intend to act now or cannot stay safe, call 911 in the U.S.; stay with them if it is safe, or arrange for another safe person to be present until help arrives. Do not leave a minor to manage this alone.
Share responsibility appropriately
A child or teen should involve a safe adult rather than carrying a friendโs crisis alone. If a parent is unsafe, another trusted adult or professional is appropriate. Pregnancy, recent birth, or chronic illness may require coordination with existing clinicians. Supporters need sleep, boundaries, and their own support; love does not make one person an emergency service.
Common questions
What if they refuse help?
Keep the door open and offer manageable choices when there is no immediate danger. If safety is uncertain, contact crisis support for guidance instead of handling it alone.
Should I promise total secrecy?
No. Explain kindly that you may need help from others if someoneโs safety is at risk, especially when a minor is involved.
Caution: Editorial review: 2026-10-21; no clinician review is claimed. General education, not diagnosis or treatment. In the U.S., call or text 988 for suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis; you can also contact 988 about someone else. For immediate physical danger or a medical emergency, call 911. Outside the U.S., use local crisis and emergency services.
References
General education, not medical diagnosis or treatment. Ask a health professional about your situation. In an emergency call 911; for a mental health crisis call or text 988.
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